Persistance...the other side of the coin

PERSISTANCE v. to persevere, continue, remain, frequently standing for something, endure.

For all you parents out there that have gone through the stage of your kids asking why? (usually 3-4yrs) or continuing to ask the same question but in a different way in attempt to break you down in order to achieve thier end goal of getting thier way (ages 4-???). If you haven't experienced this...yes it is coming. The term I am eluding to is persistance. I have decided that this is an innate characteristic that God provides us all with. It is used for different purposes throughout our lives. As kids we use it to discover our boundries, we may use it to manipulate to get our way, and for the most part to simply drive our parents crazy. As a parent I have always felt it important to explain the reason behind my no's or reasons behind why the kids were being asked to behave in a certain mannor so as to justify the situation and ward off the persistance in rebellion. Not always successfully. I am contstantly saying to my children that I appreciate thier persistance, that I am sure it will serve them well in life, but for now the answer is no and then I vow to myself to be strong enough not to be broken down. I have recently experienced some situations where the kids have been faced with conflicting priorities with events, activities, family, school, church, etc. We have had to make the tough choices of what to say yes to and what to say no to. In attempt to try to make everything work and fit together we have empowered our children to be persistant in disscussing the conflicts and asking for partnership in finding an acceptable solution with the particular adult in charge of the event. However we have run into adults in charge of these events whom have said No...their particular event should take priority and there are consequences (dock in grades, loss of $$$, removal from rosters, etc) in missing out on any of them. They somewhat stick their stake in the ground and don't budge. Now I am not an advocate of anyone being a doormat...however, I find myself now saying to the children, you really must have persistance and continue to be a monkey on the shoulder of these adults to let them know how important your priorities are. Don't accept no and continue to ask for opportunities for solutions so that you can make it all work. Try presenting the information in a different way so they understand. Yes, it has come full circle... from telling them to stop being persistant to encouaging them to be more persistant. Is this Karma? As an adult I realize that persistance is an important characteristic to have in order to compromise, work to find solutions, to not just give up and get the most out of life. I always used to think it was so exhausting to be on the recieving end of persistance, after the last month I am finding it is equally exhausting being persistant.

So the morale of the story. While I am not encouraging parents of young children to give in to their every plea. I am saying take some joy in the experience of saying no 10,000 times to the same plea because someday the coin will be flipped and you will experience telling them to not accept no for an answer and to continue their plea. So do continue to tell your kids that you appreciate their persistance as someday it will come in real handy!!!